Last week, someone asked me a question that I was not prepared to answer: "Are you still planning to adopt?"
We made our announcement to family and friends a couple of months ago, and I guess this particular person thought that perhaps we changed our minds. I know that is possible, but I don't understand why anyone would make that kind of announcement and then back out. But I think I have a pretty good handle on WHY that question surfaced in the first place.
Unlike pregnancy, adoption has not firm and definite progression of time. When you're pregnant, you really can't speed up or slow down the process. Pregnancy produces very obvious visible signs that you are preparing to add to your family. Adoption is a lot different.
Since I'm not pregnant, those visible signs are completely absent. In fact, we're stuck right now. The work of choosing a professional has started, but school started and so many things thrust back into our lives that were absent during the summer. It's oh-so-easy to put our search for a professional on the back burner when there are very real deadlines and tasks looming right in front of us. And it doesn't help that I am trying to be careful and GET IT RIGHT rather than jump in, making decisions too quickly. That will cost us money in the long run...money we really can't afford to gamble by making rash decisions.
Plus, I think I have a case of the nerves. When you're pregnant, you know your due date. You have time to wrap your mind around the changes that are and will take place in your family as your body changes. With adoption, there's so much uncertainty built in to the process. I find myself often wondering how long we'll end up waiting for a baby, whether we're making the right decisions financially, and what kind of sacrifices we'll end up making that we don't even realize yet. I wonder we will have to suffer the heartache of a birthmother who decides to keep her baby after all. I continue to pray about these things.
I've resolved to take time every day to work on locating an adoption professional in hopes that once we have made that decision, the process will begin to feel more real. As long as we are stuck in this place, nothing will happen - we'll be going nowhere.
Thank you for your prayers, friends. We need them!
