Where to go from here

The time for updates has arrived. I had hoped that we wouldn't have to go through this step (because we would have already been matched and working toward/finished finalization in court), but here we are. I was reminded yesterday that it's actually not uncommon to have to do a full update, since the homestudy is one of the first things we have to have completed.

The good news is that I managed to plow through the majority of it in just a few hours today. There are quite a few things that haven't changed since we turned in the paperwork the first time, so there were several items that I could just edit or polish. The financial forms were the hardest since I quit my teaching job last year, but even that wasn't too bad.

The most unsettling thing lately is I think the Lord is trying to get my attention about something. The last time I experienced this kind of "prodding" in this particular way from Him was about being obedient in the smallest details. He would not leave the issue alone. Every time I went to church, participated in prayer or read my Bible, it seemed like that issue was a subject (or the subject) of discussion. Eventually, I had to admit that while I was obedient in many other ways, I had not been obedient in THIS way. I was under so much conviction, that I had to clear my conscience and obey.

This time, it's about foster care. We have been asked by several people about whether we've considered foster care or foster-adopt, and it keeps popping up in other ways, too. It seems like every day, the issue of foster care or adopting a child in foster care comes up in some form or fashion.

To be honest, we went into this to adopt a baby. I wanted to be able to raise our child from his/her earliest days. But there are many, many children (about 400,000 according to Administration for Children and Families) who are in foster care, whose average age is over 9 years old, and more than 60,000 of whom are legally free for adoption in the United States (according to Children's Rights). As a public school teacher, I worked with several of these children, and it broke my heart that they didn't get to have the loving, permanent home so many of us take for granted.

I talked yesterday with a colleague and his wife who adopted a couple of years ago. They originally planned for an international adoption, but the country they were working with vastly reduced the number of adoptions they were allowing - effectively slamming the door in their faces. They were forced to either continue waiting (likely years), or turn to another avenue. They now have two more boys added to their family, adopted from right here in the US. They encouraged us to think and pray hard about what our next steps should be. They said it might be surprising to us the path we end up taking.

I don't know yet what we'll decide, or what role the Lord has for us to play concerning foster care. There are a lot of things for us to consider, and we would appreciate your prayers.

One who does IMPOSSIBLE things

A couple of months ago, we arrived at our one-year mark of official waiting. We have had, more than ever, to redirect our focus to Christ and not the discouragement that we are STILL waiting. But I have found encouragement from the books of Nehemiah and Psalms. Let me tell you a little about Nehemiah and how he has encouraged me.

An Impossible Desire
Nehemiah was a man who knew what it meant to be utterly powerless in the face of heartbreak. He had heard about how Jerusalem was in ruins and the people were in poverty. He longed to go to Jerusalem. In fact he WEPT over Jerusalem. He wanted to rebuild its walls so that his people could find a measure of protection from hostile neighbors. But since he was a slave, he had no means to put action to his desire.

The One Who Hears and Answers
Nehemiah turned to the only One who could do this impossible task. He prayed. He fasted. He planned what needed to be done. He continued to do his job as the king's cupbearer. Four long months passed with no apparent progress toward Nehemiah's goal. I'm sure he was tempted to give in to discouragement, but he never stopped praying and fasting. He clung fast to God's promises to answer prayer, because he knew that God is faithful.

Ps. 116:1,2   I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

Psalm 86:7  In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.  

Psalm 138:3  In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.

There are many other verses I could quote, but they all have the same idea: God hears and answers.

The Impossible Becomes a Reality
The Persian king, Artaxerxes, was the only person who could grant Nehemiah permission to leave his current job to rebuild Jerusalem's walls. Not only that, but the king had halted that very work years earlier when Ezra took a group to do that same task. They didn't finish because the king said, "No more building." And Persian kings didn't change their minds. But God does impossible things magnificently! He softened the king's heart toward Nehemiah and graciously gave him what he requested! Because Nehemiah had been planning as he prayed and fasted, he could give the king an answer right away about what was needed and how long it would take. In a flash, what seemed out of reach was a reality.

We need to be more like Nehemiah. The length of our wait is irrelevant, because in God's time all things are done perfectly. Running ahead of Him to speed things up or find another way to get what we long for is counterproductive and will likely have some unintended/undesirable consequences. We must surrender to His way of doing things, even if we don't understand it because He wants to give us the BEST gifts. Often, we will settle for what we can get because we don't realize that there's something so much better waiting for us if we just let God work it all out. We need to remember to rely on His strength when we think we can't possibly wait any longer.

Isaiah 40:31  But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

We appreciate all your prayers for us as we walk this journey. We still need them!