Q: How long will it take?
A: We really don't know. Today's infant adoptions in the US are nearly all "open" adoptions to some degree (see the next question if you don't know what an open adoption is). According to a recent statistic from Adoptive Families Magazine Adoption Guide 2012, 33% of adoptive families are matched with a birthmother within 3 months of completing their portfolio. 50% of families are matched within 4-6 months, and 73% are matched within 7-12 months.
On top of that, 40% of families were matched less than a month before their child was born. What that means is that there's a lot of waiting, then a flurry of activity once the match is made because adoptive families won't have 9 months to prepare (unless they started preparing while they were waiting) - they may only have 1-4 months to do that.
Q: What is an open adoption?
A: There's a lot of misconception out there about open adoption. The simplest definition of an open adoption is that there is some form of relationship and/or communication between the birth family and adoptive family before, during and/or after an adoption is complete. That will look very different from family to family. Some families only mail pictures and letters on a regular schedule to the adoption agency to forward to the birth family. Some families exchange gifts with birth families for important occasions (birthdays, holidays, etc). I've even met a family that takes vacations to visit the birth family and had a prior relationship before the baby was born. It DOES NOT MEAN co-parenting. Once the baby is placed with the adoptive family, the birthparents' parental rights are terminated and they no longer have any rights in regards to the child. None. Even the birth certificate is replaced to show the adoptive parents instead of the birthparents (which is why many older adoptees have found it hard to locate their birthparents - the old birth certificate in many states was sealed much like a juvenile criminal record).
Now, that being said, the birth family will always be part of the child. Many adopted kids will want to know if they look like their birthmom or birthdad, or if there are any siblings, or any number of other questions that link them genetically and biologically to their birth family. How the relationship of this "extended family" plays out is like any other decision parents make for their kids. Ultimately, the adoptive parents have complete and final discretion on with whom and how their adopted child interacts.
Here is a very good article for more on what an open adoption means for all parties involved.
Q: How much does adoption cost?
A: Well, that depends on what kind of adoption you are pursuing. The least expensive (by far) is foster-adoption. International adoption is usually the most expensive option, and domestic adoptions are about middle of the road. The cost also depends on whether you go through a failed match with a birthmother, how many times you have to update your profile and homestudy and whether the birthmother will need financial assistance with her prenatal care. According to the Adoptive Families Adoption Guide 2012, 80% of adoptions cost anywhere from $10,000-$40,000 in total expenses. Half of those are in the $10k-$30k range, with the other half in the higher end of the range.
Q: Why is it taking so long for you to get a baby?
A: What many people don't realize is that there are more parents waiting to adopt than there are babies in the US. For every newborn adopted, there are about 26 waiting parents. That wasn't always the case. Once upon a time, the situation was reversed - giving rise to orphanages. In many countries, it is still that way.
Here is a very good article for more on what an open adoption means for all parties involved.
Q: How much does adoption cost?
A: Well, that depends on what kind of adoption you are pursuing. The least expensive (by far) is foster-adoption. International adoption is usually the most expensive option, and domestic adoptions are about middle of the road. The cost also depends on whether you go through a failed match with a birthmother, how many times you have to update your profile and homestudy and whether the birthmother will need financial assistance with her prenatal care. According to the Adoptive Families Adoption Guide 2012, 80% of adoptions cost anywhere from $10,000-$40,000 in total expenses. Half of those are in the $10k-$30k range, with the other half in the higher end of the range.
Q: Why is it taking so long for you to get a baby?
A: What many people don't realize is that there are more parents waiting to adopt than there are babies in the US. For every newborn adopted, there are about 26 waiting parents. That wasn't always the case. Once upon a time, the situation was reversed - giving rise to orphanages. In many countries, it is still that way.
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