Cha-CHING!

I love a good deal. Which is why I fell in love with my Alaska Airlines credit card the moment we signed up for it several years ago. We've never carried a balance on any of our credit cards, so when I told Bill that we could charge all our expenses to our card and rack up the miles in a hurry, he was on board! We've had several opportunities to fly for free, help family fly for free, and get first class upgrades.

So when I was making travel arrangements for our trip to Seattle in March for an adoptive parent training, the first thing I thought was, "I wonder if our travel dates are blacked out, or will we get free tickets this time?" I decided to also try out Alaska Airlines' hotel and car rental feature. So first, I just tried (without miles) shopping for our trip. Two nights' hotel, car and airfare. We also have a yearly companion certificate for $99, so I decided to try applying that to see what we could save. Then I shopped the exact same flights, hotel and car with MILES - we saved a whopping $1000!!!!

Airfares are expensive anywhere, but it seems like we can't travel anywhere outside Alaska for anything less than $500 per person when we get a good deal. I was so stoked when I got airfare, hotel AND car for less than $250. I am doing the happy dance, people!

Oh, yeah - and we got fingerprinted this week, too. Nothing like thick, oily ink to make you feel like a prospective parent!  =D

Moral of the story: if you plan to adopt (or even travel on a shoestring), you can save yourself quite a bit of cash going this route. You have to be disciplined in your spending, but it really pays off in the end. We have been saving up our miles for quite a while, and we charge everything we can to maximize the benefits.

So, we're all set for the March 5th training in Seattle. We appreciate your continued prayers. We are plowing through as much paperwork as we can, as quickly as we can, for the homestudy. Once that's done, we can focus on the agency's formal application. Thankfully, it looks like a lot of the same information we provide in the homestudy is also requested on our application. LOVE that! We're hoping to be done with homestudy paperwork within the next two weeks. So, here's what you can pray about for us, if you wish:

1. wisdom and efficiency getting our paperwork done
2. fingerprints will get processed without a hitch (sometimes they're returned and have to be redone)
3. inspiration (mostly for Cheri) as we begin to think about the book we need to create for birth mothers to view
4. peace in the midst of so many things needing our attention

Thank you!

Whew! So much to do!

Today we had two meetings - one at Fairbanks Counseling and Adoption, and one over the phone with Bethany Christian Services. Both meetings have resulted in LOTS of paperwork. As my friends Ken and Chelsey joked, we're "paperwork pregnant": instead of prenatal doctor visits we get mountains of paper to fill out!

The meeting at FCA was basically informational. Melody Jamieson, one of the social workers there, talked with us about what to expect in the homestudy process and started a file for us. She gave us a stack of papers that need to be filled out, so we will be pretty busy getting those done. We also made an appointment to have our fingerprints done for our FBI background check. We also need to have a local police clearance done - we still need to get that scheduled, but it's basically a call ahead and walk-up trip.

A little later in the day, our caseworker at Bethany, Becky, called to talk with us about the process at Bethany. She also gave us access to the formal application (MORE mountains of paperwork) to get that started. Originally, I thought we wouldn't get to start the formal application until March but she surprised us. Thankfully, the Bethany "paperwork" is all online, so we won't have to keep track of more actual paper.

One of the things we talked about in the phone meeting was financing. Although the federal government does let us take a tax credit for adoption expenses, it will not cover everything. Bill figures we'll have a substantial tax return coming to us, and we'll have our annual PFD arriving in October, but we'll need to take a look at some other options, too, I think.

So, it looks like we're moving right along. I look at all those papers to fill out and have to take a deep breath - we WILL get it all done! But most importantly, every step we take in our adoption journey takes us just that bit closer to the baby we'll one day welcome to our home. We are already praying for the birthmother and that precious child - I hope you join us!

Baby steps are good news

I was thinking about that phrase today: "baby steps." In terms of what that means to a child, it's a huge advancement in the way they move around. For parents, it's a moment of joy and affirmation that their baby is making the milestones that a child should.

For Bill and me, we are making "baby steps," too. In my last post, I related the decisions we made recently; today we have confirmation that things are progressing! We got a letter from Bethany yesterday saying we've been approved to go ahead with the next step!

First, we need to have a phone orientation to talk about the homestudy process. Then in March, we'll need to travel to Seattle for a training and to get our formal application materials. That's when a whole lotta paperwork is going to begin! On their website, Bethany gives a really rough outline of the next steps.

We are at the very top, of course, at Preliminary Application. I'm hoping (I could be completely wrong 'cuz I'm assuming here) that we'll have all the steps up to Placement done by the end of March so we can be on the waiting list by April. Once that's all done, we just pray, then pray some more. And I need to get the nursery ready. And baby proof the house. And pray.

Okay, that's enough forward thinking. We need to get through the next step first! We filled out our reservation papers for the training (Formal Application) and mailed them today. Bethany will be sending us an information packet about the orientation, and we'll need to call them to set up a time for a 1 to 1.5 hour phone meeting. So, I'm guessing it will be a couple of weeks before we'll get to that (Informational Meeting, on their steps). Eek! That's about the same time as the meeting with Fairbanks Counseling & Adoption! I guess we really WILL be hurrying up to wait!

Until later!

Now we're talkin'!

After way too much agonizing and foot-dragging, Bill and I decided to simplify our process and just work with an agency, Bethany Christian Services. The lure of "cutting down our wait time" and perhaps "saving quite a bit of money" lulled me into inaction. As Bill put it, "At the rate we're going, we're never going to get this adoption done," and we had barely started!
So, I compromised and suggested that we just go with an agency. We had already looked into several and were taken with Bethany since it has a heavy emphasis on finding Christian families for children. They are also one of the largest (or perhaps THE largest) agency in the country with offices all over the place. They also handle international adoptions, which we are still considering for a future adoption.

The biggest advantage with an agency, at least for me, is that there are specific steps and deadlines to meet. That's a big one for me. I do not, repeat DO NOT, handle self-determined timelines well. Every independent study class I've ever taken - and there have been few 'cuz I'm a quick learner, you know - has been a huge struggle with insanely busy crunch times at the end. I'm great at meeting other people's deadlines, but I will admit that I procrastinate. That's why we (read: I) ended up dragging our feet.

We also made a change in what state from which we would adopt. Bethany isn't permitted to help us complete an adoption in Illinois unless the child is born there. But they CAN help us in Washington. Washington has favorable laws for adoptive parents, and it's a lot closer than Illinois. A direct flight from here to Seattle is relatively easy to get, much shorter, and cheaper.

SO, here we are. We filled out the preliminary application with Bethany, are planning to travel to Seattle for an adoptive parent meeting & start the formal application, and have an appointment on January 14th to start the homestudy process with Fairbanks Counseling & Adoption.

Three small steps for the Howards, one giant leap for our adopted child!

Getting the ball rolling again

Last night we attended an event sponsored by the ONLY local adoption agency in town. They will have to do our home study, so we thought it would be a good idea to go so that we can get to know them a bit better.

It turned out to be a very informal event with several adoptees/adoptive parents sharing their stories. There were a number of families who adopted internationally, one that went through the foster care system and one that adopted a baby domestically. It was good to hear some of their adoption stories, but Bill wished that there were more domestic adoptions to hear about, too. We were able to get an information packet from the agency while we were there and let them know we wanted a follow up call. Soooooooo, I guess I better get ready for a home study!

One of the attendees asked about what was involved in a home study, but the answer was not very specific. There'll be some paperwork (better get used to that), some counseling and some interviews with a social worker. Hopefully, we can get that process completed quickly!

Adoption is definitely NOT like pregnancy

Last week, someone asked me a question that I was not prepared to answer: "Are you still planning to adopt?"

We made our announcement to family and friends a couple of months ago, and I guess this particular person thought that perhaps we changed our minds. I know that is possible, but I don't understand why anyone would make that kind of announcement and then back out. But I think I have a pretty good handle on WHY that question surfaced in the first place.

Unlike pregnancy, adoption has not firm and definite progression of time. When you're pregnant, you really can't speed up or slow down the process. Pregnancy produces very obvious visible signs that you are preparing to add to your family. Adoption is a lot different.

Since I'm not pregnant, those visible signs are completely absent. In fact, we're stuck right now. The work of choosing a professional has started, but school started and so many things thrust back into our lives that were absent during the summer. It's oh-so-easy to put our search for a professional on the back burner when there are very real deadlines and tasks looming right in front of us. And it doesn't help that I am trying to be careful and GET IT RIGHT rather than jump in, making decisions too quickly. That will cost us money in the long run...money we really can't afford to gamble by making rash decisions.

Plus, I think I have a case of the nerves. When you're pregnant, you know your due date. You have time to wrap your mind around the changes that are and will take place in your family as your body changes. With adoption, there's so much uncertainty built in to the process. I find myself often wondering how long we'll end up waiting for a baby, whether we're making the right decisions financially, and what kind of sacrifices we'll end up making that we don't even realize yet. I wonder we will have to suffer the heartache of a birthmother who decides to keep her baby after all. I continue to pray about these things.

I've resolved to take time every day to work on locating an adoption professional in hopes that once we have made that decision, the process will begin to feel more real. As long as we are stuck in this place, nothing will happen - we'll be going nowhere.

Thank you for your prayers, friends. We need them!

Oh, the choices!

When Bill and I started this journey, we had no idea that there were so many decisions to make before we even paid anyone. I used to think that if you wanted to adopt, you just went to an agency. That's only one choice, I discovered, and it's not always the best choice for everyone. Going through the foster care system is another option (often called the "foster care shortcut"). You can also hire an attorney. And then you have to consider whether you will adopt in your home state or in another state that allows non-resident adoptions.

Alaska is a wonderful state, but it is also one of the least populous. The number of adoptions completed in Alaska number less than 650, and a larger proportion of those are adoptions from foster care. Our local adoption agency says on their website that they made fewer than TEN infant placements the year prior. With so few options available to us, we decided that perhaps we should look outside Alaska, as well.

Adoption by Randall Hicks has a state-by-state review of laws so readers can compare their options. The first thing I did was eliminate states that allow only residents to adopt. That cut my list down to half of the states in the US. Then we looked at how long the birth mother has the right to change her mind about adoption (called "revocation of consent"), and how long it takes for the adoption to become final in the courts. Believe it or not, we found a couple of states that gave the birth mother as long as 45 days to change her mind, but during that time the child could live with you. Alaska's laws give the birth mother 10 days to change her mind, and there are many other states that allot the same amount of time. But some states are much shorter, and that's where we hit a bit of a snag.

We had our list down to 13 states at this point. But we wanted to narrow it to just two beside Alaska. Randall Hicks recommended in his book to hire three professionals instead of just one. His reasoning was that with three professionals working toward a match with a birth mother, we could finish the adoption with the party that made the match. He also said that this approach could shave months off the time we wait for a birth mother to choose us. That sounded really good to us!

Deciding on the final two states was really a financial decision. We have quite a few airline miles racked up with Alaska Airlines, but they only fly as far east as Detroit. To help us save money, we removed any states that were farther east. That left us with five states; Michigan and Illinois were the most populous, having thousands of adoptions completed every year. We decided that those two states might be our best option.

So now we're in the process of compiling a list of attorneys and agencies, requesting their written materials and reviewing those materials. Once we're done with those tasks, we'll narrow our lists further with some phone calls and consultations to get a feel for whether we want to work with these professionals. There's still much more work to be done!