The Power in Words

We're nearing the end of our homestudy paperwork - YAY! Next week is spring break for us, so our hope is to get it all done & turned in before Friday.

But the most significant event since our last post was the trip to Seattle for adoptive parent training with Bethany, our agency. It was only a weekend, and we ended up in training all day (we were told it was only a few hours), but it was a very informative and moving day.

There are three things that stuck out to me most: the adoptive parent panel, the birthmother panel, and a short discussion about becoming adoption educators.

I was so glad to hear from adoptive parents and their experiences. I think for the first time in my life, we were sitting in a room full of people who, like us, want more than anything to become parents. To love and hold a tiny little life. To share with them the great blessings God has poured upon us. Although we are at the beginning of this journey, we already have questioned how long it will take us to become three, who the birthmother will be, what issues will we face that we can't even conceive of right now? It can be overwhelming, to be honest. We found strength in their words.

Hearing the birthmothers' stories was an important step for me, too. Although I try to keep a positive attitude and refuse to buy into those horror stories that seem to make it into the headlines and TV movies about adoptions that go horribly wrong, it's hard to completely ignore the very real possibility that we may be matched with a birthmother who decides after all to parent. I have to admit that, while there was no one-on-one contact other than the Q&A, I was a bit nervous to hear their experiences. But I'm glad I did. They were reassuring and heart-warming. These ladies told us of their heartbreak over an ill-made decision and the agony of making the right choice for their baby. Hearing their stories put a face on the word "birthmother". We found comfort in their words.

And then there was the part where the counselors reminded us that since adoption is not the norm in our society, there will always be people who ask inappropriate or downright rude questions, who may have a rather negative or ill-informed attitude about adoption. They advised us that words are powerful, and they can define for us, for acquaintances, and - most importantly - for our child how we think about adoption. We have a new vocabulary to learn, because it will shape our child's view of what it means to be adopted. We found power in words.

Words. With them God spoke the world into existence, gave us his Holy Word, and with them we communicate what is in our hearts. We can use them to build something beautiful, or we can destroy and distort. We can heal and comfort, or we can add poison to the wound. There's a reason Scripture has so much to say about our tongues!

My prayer is that as we continue our journey along this road, God will grant us the grace and wisdom to use our tongues the RIGHT way.