Moving along

Originally, I had planned this post to update you about Dylan, the 10 year old boy I referred to in my last update. But about two weeks ago, we were told that another family had been selected for him. It was hard to hear after putting in two months of prayer, locating community resources for him and talking with his social workers. But we have prayed all along that God would clearly tell us what we are to do by either opening the doors for us or close them firmly. Finding out that another family was chosen may have been hard, but it was an answer to prayer since that door is obviously shut.

Just a week after this, we received an email from Angela, one of the social workers we talked with about Dylan. She works with Wendy's Wonderful Kids to find adoptive families for kids who have been waiting the longest for a forever family. She said she has another child (Barbara, 11 years old) that she thinks might be a good match for our family. Bill and I prayed, talked and prayed some more. This was not an opportunity we sought out, and Barbara isn't listed on the state's adoption website or on the Northwest Adoption Exchange website. We would never even have known about her except that Angela told us. We decided that we would walk through this door, as well, just as we have done this entire journey.

We don't have many details at this point (and we couldn't share them even if we DID have them), but what we know so far gives us reason to be optimistic. The next step is to talk with Barbara's caseworker from the state. This is a busy time of year, so we are hoping to have some sort of contact in the next week.

Ways you can pray for us:

• Wisdom for us, Barbara's caseworker and Angela to discern whether this is a good match
• Patience and steadfastness (this is our third child/sibling group we have looked at for potential adoption - it is ALWAYS hard to hear that they are going to another family)
• Diligence as we explore Barbara's needs

We truly appreciate all the prayers on our behalf - thank you!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

A few months ago, I asked for your prayers as we sought the Lord's will concerning two little girls (you can read about that here). As we requested, the Lord firmly shut that door to us. In the meantime, we had a lot of travel and some training we wanted to complete, and our homestudy update was still in progress.

Fast forward to now, and we are STILL waiting for the update (the FBI has taken a nose-dive when it comes to timely fingerprint clearances). But we decided to tentatively move forward with contacting the state about an older child adoption. The boy that first touched my heart is still available for adoption, which gave us reason to think God still wants us to move in this direction. So we contacted the state adoption exchange to express our interest in him.

Then all sorts of things started to happen. We got a phone call just a couple of days later about a baby girl due in January. And today the state called asking if we would be interested in two sisters (8 & 14) who will be available for adoption next month and need a new caregiver. And, of course, our agency contacted us yesterday to ask if we'd like to be considered by another birthmother.

I have to say that I'm perplexed as to why God has seen fit to throw all of this at us at once. My head is spinning, to be honest. Knowing which way is the Lord's will is confusing right now, and the only thing I know to do is to at least walk through the doors and see what happens. And then the thought has crossed my mind: what if God sees fit to add to our household MULTIPLE children in a short time? My heart quakes at how much we would be stretched!

We know there are many, many people praying for us. Please keep it up! Some specific ways you can pray:

• For wisdom as we sort through all the potential options before us
• That we would have discernment about which options we should pursue (or abandon)
• We would have the Lord's peace in the midst of what seems to be confusion and turmoil
• I would be emotionally calm - especially if we have to say, "No" to a child who needs a family

Psalm 71:1 In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.

A Yielded Heart

You may remember that I posted several months ago that I felt the Lord was prompting us to consider adopting older children. It took me a while to finally yield to Him, but now I can see why He was asking us to obey in this way.

Last week, a friend of ours asked for an update on our adoption process, then told us that her heart has been burdened for two little girls at the school where she works. The state is looking at placing the girls in an adoptive home, and our friend wondered if we would be interested.

To be honest, had she asked that question seven months ago, my answer probably would have been a flat, "No." But because the Lord has been gently, yet firmly, asking me to re-evaluate some issues I had not fully faced, I have arrived at a place where the answer can be, "Yes."

There are so many variables involved, and at this point we really do not know for sure if this is the Lord's will. But as I told our social worker, all we can do is walk up to the doors that God seems to have set before us, knock and see what happens. If He opens the door, we intend to walk through it to the next door. If this is NOT His will, we pray that He will slam it firmly in our faces.

Please pray with us about this situation. I cannot share any details about the girls, but God knows every detail, even the ones hidden from those who know the girls best. Some specific ways you can pray for us:

• Our social work has advised us to proceed with the foster care licensing process since it could be months for the state to finally make an adoptive placement. (can you spell PAPERWORK?)
• We are STILL waiting for Bill's fingerprints to clear. Our social worker can't finalize our homestudy until that is done.
• Part of the foster care application requires training that could take us a month or more to complete. We are praying for an expedited way to get it done. There is an element of time sensitivity involved.
• We will need to make adjustments to our home. We had originally intended to welcome an infant to our house; the girls are significantly older, and we'll need to adapt accordingly.
• That the Lord would give us wisdom, patience, peace and understanding should the girls be placed in our home.

Thank you for your prayers on our behalf!

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. 

Psalm 37:23

Hunt. Gather. Grow.

Summer time in Alaska is when a lot of pent up energy finally gets unleashed. The temperature rise and longer days provide ample opportunity for all sorts of life to finally emerge from under the frozen snow and ice that dominate so many months of our year. There are plenty of opportunities to relax, but there is also much to be done: gardening, berry picking, fishing, and preserving are but a few. By the time March rolls around, I am more than ready for summer to begin. I never know just how much will be in my freezer at the end of summer, but I work as hard as I can to put up what God provides. Alas, it will be two more months before summer will arrive in earnest, and so we WAIT.

That's sort of how we feel right now. Our homestudy update is in limbo as we WAIT for our fingerprints to clear (again). We WAIT for a birthmother to choose us. We WAIT for God's provision of funds, both for our normal living expenses and for our adoption fund. Waiting forces us to look to the LORD because there's absolutely nothing we can do about several of those things.

One thing we can do, however, is attempt to fundraise for our adoption expenses. Last year, we held a garage sale and put my Usborne Books & More commission toward our adoption fund. This year, I plan to have another garage sale, a plant sale and now we are launching a Cards for a Cause fundraiser, too.

In this fundraiser, we are selling boxes of greeting cards. All the proceeds from this fundraiser go into our adoption fund. Each box of cards has 30 cards and costs $30. They are handmade cards for all occasions with coordinating envelopes in a keepsake box. Occasions include birthdays, celebrations, thank yous, and more. They are beautifully embellished and individually wrapped. We have an adult box and a kids' box - you choose!

In addition to posting this on our blog, I will be emailing friends and family about our fundraiser. I've set up an event on Facebook (click the link to go to it) where you can follow our progress. And you can see how much we've raised in our fundraising efforts on our Fundraiser Progress page.

Just as I never know how abundant my berry harvest will be or how well my garden will produce or how many fish we'll catch, we wait on the LORD to provide. And remember that we appreciate every form of support from our friends and family whether it be words of encouragement, participating in our fundraisers, or praying for us; we know that there are many, MANY people who care for us. We are thankful for each and every one of you!

Where to go from here

The time for updates has arrived. I had hoped that we wouldn't have to go through this step (because we would have already been matched and working toward/finished finalization in court), but here we are. I was reminded yesterday that it's actually not uncommon to have to do a full update, since the homestudy is one of the first things we have to have completed.

The good news is that I managed to plow through the majority of it in just a few hours today. There are quite a few things that haven't changed since we turned in the paperwork the first time, so there were several items that I could just edit or polish. The financial forms were the hardest since I quit my teaching job last year, but even that wasn't too bad.

The most unsettling thing lately is I think the Lord is trying to get my attention about something. The last time I experienced this kind of "prodding" in this particular way from Him was about being obedient in the smallest details. He would not leave the issue alone. Every time I went to church, participated in prayer or read my Bible, it seemed like that issue was a subject (or the subject) of discussion. Eventually, I had to admit that while I was obedient in many other ways, I had not been obedient in THIS way. I was under so much conviction, that I had to clear my conscience and obey.

This time, it's about foster care. We have been asked by several people about whether we've considered foster care or foster-adopt, and it keeps popping up in other ways, too. It seems like every day, the issue of foster care or adopting a child in foster care comes up in some form or fashion.

To be honest, we went into this to adopt a baby. I wanted to be able to raise our child from his/her earliest days. But there are many, many children (about 400,000 according to Administration for Children and Families) who are in foster care, whose average age is over 9 years old, and more than 60,000 of whom are legally free for adoption in the United States (according to Children's Rights). As a public school teacher, I worked with several of these children, and it broke my heart that they didn't get to have the loving, permanent home so many of us take for granted.

I talked yesterday with a colleague and his wife who adopted a couple of years ago. They originally planned for an international adoption, but the country they were working with vastly reduced the number of adoptions they were allowing - effectively slamming the door in their faces. They were forced to either continue waiting (likely years), or turn to another avenue. They now have two more boys added to their family, adopted from right here in the US. They encouraged us to think and pray hard about what our next steps should be. They said it might be surprising to us the path we end up taking.

I don't know yet what we'll decide, or what role the Lord has for us to play concerning foster care. There are a lot of things for us to consider, and we would appreciate your prayers.

One who does IMPOSSIBLE things

A couple of months ago, we arrived at our one-year mark of official waiting. We have had, more than ever, to redirect our focus to Christ and not the discouragement that we are STILL waiting. But I have found encouragement from the books of Nehemiah and Psalms. Let me tell you a little about Nehemiah and how he has encouraged me.

An Impossible Desire
Nehemiah was a man who knew what it meant to be utterly powerless in the face of heartbreak. He had heard about how Jerusalem was in ruins and the people were in poverty. He longed to go to Jerusalem. In fact he WEPT over Jerusalem. He wanted to rebuild its walls so that his people could find a measure of protection from hostile neighbors. But since he was a slave, he had no means to put action to his desire.

The One Who Hears and Answers
Nehemiah turned to the only One who could do this impossible task. He prayed. He fasted. He planned what needed to be done. He continued to do his job as the king's cupbearer. Four long months passed with no apparent progress toward Nehemiah's goal. I'm sure he was tempted to give in to discouragement, but he never stopped praying and fasting. He clung fast to God's promises to answer prayer, because he knew that God is faithful.

Ps. 116:1,2   I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

Psalm 86:7  In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.  

Psalm 138:3  In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.

There are many other verses I could quote, but they all have the same idea: God hears and answers.

The Impossible Becomes a Reality
The Persian king, Artaxerxes, was the only person who could grant Nehemiah permission to leave his current job to rebuild Jerusalem's walls. Not only that, but the king had halted that very work years earlier when Ezra took a group to do that same task. They didn't finish because the king said, "No more building." And Persian kings didn't change their minds. But God does impossible things magnificently! He softened the king's heart toward Nehemiah and graciously gave him what he requested! Because Nehemiah had been planning as he prayed and fasted, he could give the king an answer right away about what was needed and how long it would take. In a flash, what seemed out of reach was a reality.

We need to be more like Nehemiah. The length of our wait is irrelevant, because in God's time all things are done perfectly. Running ahead of Him to speed things up or find another way to get what we long for is counterproductive and will likely have some unintended/undesirable consequences. We must surrender to His way of doing things, even if we don't understand it because He wants to give us the BEST gifts. Often, we will settle for what we can get because we don't realize that there's something so much better waiting for us if we just let God work it all out. We need to remember to rely on His strength when we think we can't possibly wait any longer.

Isaiah 40:31  But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

We appreciate all your prayers for us as we walk this journey. We still need them!

Counting our blessings...one by one

Church family.

Old friends.

Complete strangers.

Family.

Generosity.

Kindred hearts.

When we started our fundraiser, I really didn't know what to expect. I did, and still, know that God provides for us - often in unexpected ways and from unexpected sources.

I will write very sincere thank you notes, but the fact is that we are touched more deeply than we can put into words. "Thank you" just seems too little. But to everyone who is reading this and chose to help us financially on this journey, please know that our gratitude is much greater than feeble words; we are so very humbled that you would join us.

The final total for our fundraiser was nearly $800 in just two months. I don't know if that's supposed to be a little, a lot or something in between - but to US, it is a lot. Much more than we really believed we would raise. But it also speaks to how much people care about us and want to see our dream become a reality of bringing a baby home. We will continue to work toward raising funds through garage sales, grant applications, personal savings and more book commissions. The last two months have been another confirmation, however, that God is providing for us in many ways - including through you.

Thank you so very much!