"Pour You Out a Blessing"

Malachi 3:10b  ...and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

We had a guest preacher at our church yesterday who preached two excellent, convicting messages about what Christians ought to forget and what they should remember (you can hear them at the church's website, www.biblebaptistfairbanks.com). The second message was by far the most convicting of the two. There have been numerous times along this adoption journey that I fretted about how we were going to pay for this item, or how will a situation be resolved (just read some past posts to see how I've floundered). The preacher reminded us that kind of thinking is no different than the disciples' disbelief after Jesus fed the 5,000 in Mark 6. Read the story and put yourself inside it. Imagine that you were really there and saw this miracle. Would you be amazed? Would you be skeptical? Would you wonder if Jesus could do it again? 

This was not the first miracle the disciples had witnessed, but apparently they were a bit slow of learning in the matter of faith. When Jesus showed up to calm the storm, they were amazed - but the following statement indicates that this was an unbelieving amazement:

52 For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.

As I listened to the preacher, I suddenly realized that too often I wait on God's provision worried about whether it will be enough, whether it will be on time, whether .... - you get the picture. Instead, I ought to be looking back at all that He has already done for us and sitting on the edge of my seat excited to see how He will answer this time. Because He WILL provide. He WILL do something amazing.

Last week, the boys found out we wanted to adopt them. Their response was joy and excitement! Their workers then approached us about another visit, this time with the boys coming to our town for a while as their foster family went on vacation. We asked for help locating beds and dressers for the boys. The amazing part? Within 48 hours we had everything we needed, and IT WAS ALL FREE. Very generous people just gave us what we needed. One couple didn't even know us when they offered a bed for free.

God has always shown Himself faithful to us when were in in need - why wonder if He will be faithful in the now when His faithfulness in the past is so abundantly clear? God never changes; it is our foolish, unbelieving hearts that need to change. As the hymn, How Can I Fear, says:

When shadows fall and the night covers all

There are things that my eyes cannot see.

I never fear, for the Saviour is near.

My LORD abides with me!

How can I fear? Jesus is near!

He ever watches over me!

Worries all cease; He gives me peace.

How can I fear with Jesus?

When I'm alone and I face the unknown

And I fear what the future may be,

I can depend on the strength of my Friend!

He walks along with me.

How can I fear? Jesus is near!

He ever watches over me!

Worries all cease; He gives me peace.

How can I fear with Jesus?

Jesus is King! He controls everything!

He is with me each night and each day.

I trust my soul to the Saviour's control;

He drives all fear away!

How can I fear? Jesus is near!

He ever watches over me!

Worries all cease; He gives me peace.

How can I fear with Jesus?

Like First Date Jitters

This post has been a long time coming, but it's definitely worthwhile to update you on the eve of a big event for us.

We are meeting a sibling set (2 boys - Anthony, 8 and Henry, 10) tomorrow that are waiting to be adopted.

Yes, you read that right! This is the farthest we've ever been in our search for the kid(s) that will become part of our family.

I'm excited. Nervous. A little scared. Freaked out. Insecure. EMOTIONAL. It's a strange mix of emotions that reminds me a lot of first date jitters.

What if they don't like us? Are we going to blow it with OCS? Will another family come forward and ultimately become their forever family? Is this really happening? THIS IS HAPPENING!!!

As my wise mother advised: "Honey, the LORD knows 'you have never been this way before'* so HE will go before you. Trust in His leading and do not fear. Enjoy the moment and your time in Anchorage."

In ladies' Bible study each week, we have been working through Jim Berg's study, Quieting a Noisy Soul (which has been SO helpful during this process). He says in one of the lessons that we set ourselves up for a lot of failure and feeding into our unbelief when we start dealing in uncertainties instead of CERTAINTIES. God's truth tells me:

Psalm 23:2b
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Psalm 25:5
Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.

Psalm 61:2
From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Isaiah 41:10
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

There is a whole lot of comfort in knowing that God is up to something good in our lives, and we simply need to trust that no matter what, He will turn all of this to our good and His glory.

Please pray for us this weekend:

• Traveling mercies on the plan ride down and back
• Safety on the roads as we drive around Anchorage
• For lots of fun and laughter with the boys

*My mom is referring to Joshua 3:4b "...for ye have not passed this way heretofore."

Moving along

Originally, I had planned this post to update you about Dylan, the 10 year old boy I referred to in my last update. But about two weeks ago, we were told that another family had been selected for him. It was hard to hear after putting in two months of prayer, locating community resources for him and talking with his social workers. But we have prayed all along that God would clearly tell us what we are to do by either opening the doors for us or close them firmly. Finding out that another family was chosen may have been hard, but it was an answer to prayer since that door is obviously shut.

Just a week after this, we received an email from Angela, one of the social workers we talked with about Dylan. She works with Wendy's Wonderful Kids to find adoptive families for kids who have been waiting the longest for a forever family. She said she has another child (Barbara, 11 years old) that she thinks might be a good match for our family. Bill and I prayed, talked and prayed some more. This was not an opportunity we sought out, and Barbara isn't listed on the state's adoption website or on the Northwest Adoption Exchange website. We would never even have known about her except that Angela told us. We decided that we would walk through this door, as well, just as we have done this entire journey.

We don't have many details at this point (and we couldn't share them even if we DID have them), but what we know so far gives us reason to be optimistic. The next step is to talk with Barbara's caseworker from the state. This is a busy time of year, so we are hoping to have some sort of contact in the next week.

Ways you can pray for us:

• Wisdom for us, Barbara's caseworker and Angela to discern whether this is a good match
• Patience and steadfastness (this is our third child/sibling group we have looked at for potential adoption - it is ALWAYS hard to hear that they are going to another family)
• Diligence as we explore Barbara's needs

We truly appreciate all the prayers on our behalf - thank you!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

A few months ago, I asked for your prayers as we sought the Lord's will concerning two little girls (you can read about that here). As we requested, the Lord firmly shut that door to us. In the meantime, we had a lot of travel and some training we wanted to complete, and our homestudy update was still in progress.

Fast forward to now, and we are STILL waiting for the update (the FBI has taken a nose-dive when it comes to timely fingerprint clearances). But we decided to tentatively move forward with contacting the state about an older child adoption. The boy that first touched my heart is still available for adoption, which gave us reason to think God still wants us to move in this direction. So we contacted the state adoption exchange to express our interest in him.

Then all sorts of things started to happen. We got a phone call just a couple of days later about a baby girl due in January. And today the state called asking if we would be interested in two sisters (8 & 14) who will be available for adoption next month and need a new caregiver. And, of course, our agency contacted us yesterday to ask if we'd like to be considered by another birthmother.

I have to say that I'm perplexed as to why God has seen fit to throw all of this at us at once. My head is spinning, to be honest. Knowing which way is the Lord's will is confusing right now, and the only thing I know to do is to at least walk through the doors and see what happens. And then the thought has crossed my mind: what if God sees fit to add to our household MULTIPLE children in a short time? My heart quakes at how much we would be stretched!

We know there are many, many people praying for us. Please keep it up! Some specific ways you can pray:

• For wisdom as we sort through all the potential options before us
• That we would have discernment about which options we should pursue (or abandon)
• We would have the Lord's peace in the midst of what seems to be confusion and turmoil
• I would be emotionally calm - especially if we have to say, "No" to a child who needs a family

Psalm 71:1 In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.

A Yielded Heart

You may remember that I posted several months ago that I felt the Lord was prompting us to consider adopting older children. It took me a while to finally yield to Him, but now I can see why He was asking us to obey in this way.

Last week, a friend of ours asked for an update on our adoption process, then told us that her heart has been burdened for two little girls at the school where she works. The state is looking at placing the girls in an adoptive home, and our friend wondered if we would be interested.

To be honest, had she asked that question seven months ago, my answer probably would have been a flat, "No." But because the Lord has been gently, yet firmly, asking me to re-evaluate some issues I had not fully faced, I have arrived at a place where the answer can be, "Yes."

There are so many variables involved, and at this point we really do not know for sure if this is the Lord's will. But as I told our social worker, all we can do is walk up to the doors that God seems to have set before us, knock and see what happens. If He opens the door, we intend to walk through it to the next door. If this is NOT His will, we pray that He will slam it firmly in our faces.

Please pray with us about this situation. I cannot share any details about the girls, but God knows every detail, even the ones hidden from those who know the girls best. Some specific ways you can pray for us:

• Our social work has advised us to proceed with the foster care licensing process since it could be months for the state to finally make an adoptive placement. (can you spell PAPERWORK?)
• We are STILL waiting for Bill's fingerprints to clear. Our social worker can't finalize our homestudy until that is done.
• Part of the foster care application requires training that could take us a month or more to complete. We are praying for an expedited way to get it done. There is an element of time sensitivity involved.
• We will need to make adjustments to our home. We had originally intended to welcome an infant to our house; the girls are significantly older, and we'll need to adapt accordingly.
• That the Lord would give us wisdom, patience, peace and understanding should the girls be placed in our home.

Thank you for your prayers on our behalf!

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. 

Psalm 37:23

Hunt. Gather. Grow.

Summer time in Alaska is when a lot of pent up energy finally gets unleashed. The temperature rise and longer days provide ample opportunity for all sorts of life to finally emerge from under the frozen snow and ice that dominate so many months of our year. There are plenty of opportunities to relax, but there is also much to be done: gardening, berry picking, fishing, and preserving are but a few. By the time March rolls around, I am more than ready for summer to begin. I never know just how much will be in my freezer at the end of summer, but I work as hard as I can to put up what God provides. Alas, it will be two more months before summer will arrive in earnest, and so we WAIT.

That's sort of how we feel right now. Our homestudy update is in limbo as we WAIT for our fingerprints to clear (again). We WAIT for a birthmother to choose us. We WAIT for God's provision of funds, both for our normal living expenses and for our adoption fund. Waiting forces us to look to the LORD because there's absolutely nothing we can do about several of those things.

One thing we can do, however, is attempt to fundraise for our adoption expenses. Last year, we held a garage sale and put my Usborne Books & More commission toward our adoption fund. This year, I plan to have another garage sale, a plant sale and now we are launching a Cards for a Cause fundraiser, too.

In this fundraiser, we are selling boxes of greeting cards. All the proceeds from this fundraiser go into our adoption fund. Each box of cards has 30 cards and costs $30. They are handmade cards for all occasions with coordinating envelopes in a keepsake box. Occasions include birthdays, celebrations, thank yous, and more. They are beautifully embellished and individually wrapped. We have an adult box and a kids' box - you choose!

In addition to posting this on our blog, I will be emailing friends and family about our fundraiser. I've set up an event on Facebook (click the link to go to it) where you can follow our progress. And you can see how much we've raised in our fundraising efforts on our Fundraiser Progress page.

Just as I never know how abundant my berry harvest will be or how well my garden will produce or how many fish we'll catch, we wait on the LORD to provide. And remember that we appreciate every form of support from our friends and family whether it be words of encouragement, participating in our fundraisers, or praying for us; we know that there are many, MANY people who care for us. We are thankful for each and every one of you!

Where to go from here

The time for updates has arrived. I had hoped that we wouldn't have to go through this step (because we would have already been matched and working toward/finished finalization in court), but here we are. I was reminded yesterday that it's actually not uncommon to have to do a full update, since the homestudy is one of the first things we have to have completed.

The good news is that I managed to plow through the majority of it in just a few hours today. There are quite a few things that haven't changed since we turned in the paperwork the first time, so there were several items that I could just edit or polish. The financial forms were the hardest since I quit my teaching job last year, but even that wasn't too bad.

The most unsettling thing lately is I think the Lord is trying to get my attention about something. The last time I experienced this kind of "prodding" in this particular way from Him was about being obedient in the smallest details. He would not leave the issue alone. Every time I went to church, participated in prayer or read my Bible, it seemed like that issue was a subject (or the subject) of discussion. Eventually, I had to admit that while I was obedient in many other ways, I had not been obedient in THIS way. I was under so much conviction, that I had to clear my conscience and obey.

This time, it's about foster care. We have been asked by several people about whether we've considered foster care or foster-adopt, and it keeps popping up in other ways, too. It seems like every day, the issue of foster care or adopting a child in foster care comes up in some form or fashion.

To be honest, we went into this to adopt a baby. I wanted to be able to raise our child from his/her earliest days. But there are many, many children (about 400,000 according to Administration for Children and Families) who are in foster care, whose average age is over 9 years old, and more than 60,000 of whom are legally free for adoption in the United States (according to Children's Rights). As a public school teacher, I worked with several of these children, and it broke my heart that they didn't get to have the loving, permanent home so many of us take for granted.

I talked yesterday with a colleague and his wife who adopted a couple of years ago. They originally planned for an international adoption, but the country they were working with vastly reduced the number of adoptions they were allowing - effectively slamming the door in their faces. They were forced to either continue waiting (likely years), or turn to another avenue. They now have two more boys added to their family, adopted from right here in the US. They encouraged us to think and pray hard about what our next steps should be. They said it might be surprising to us the path we end up taking.

I don't know yet what we'll decide, or what role the Lord has for us to play concerning foster care. There are a lot of things for us to consider, and we would appreciate your prayers.